Standing Room

I love new experiences. I guess that for me they make life interesting. I would even go so far as to say that a major part of the decision to take on this job is for the experiences which I get to collect.  Some jobs are boring, and some fortunately are very interesting.

We rolled up to a large ranch style house and the sheriff led us into the kitchen and stopped. He handed me the yellow card which has all the information I need to complete my paperwork.  I looked it over and then waited for the sheriff to show me to the body, he just stood there with an odd expression on his face.  I turned around slowly to see if I had missed something and notice the lady standing at the sink.  Nothing odd about that except that she seemed to have a sheet over her.

Upon closer examination I saw an elderly lady who seemed to have been standing at the sink in her robe. She folded her arms on the counter and placed her head on her arms and then proceeded to die.  Our best guess was that this happened early in the morning. She was discovered about dinner time and full rigor had set in.

I should point out that we really appreciate when people die in a location and position that makes it easy for us to collect them.  This lady was standing near the door and as she was still standing, all we had to do was set up the gurney and body bag under her and lay her back.

All too often people die in awkward places like the space between the toilet and the wall.  Then we have to pry them out and we don’t enjoy that. Also people often die in positions that make things hard for us. First if they are on their stomach or side its a problem. On their stomach, fluids tend to run out of the nose and mouth and make a mess. On their sides the arms are sticking out and when rigor sets in it makes it hard to get the body bag zipped closed.

Mobile homes are often a problem in themselves, with narrow hallways and lots of 90 degree corners to navigate. If you are thinking about dying please do us a favor and go outside in the yard first, actually the front yard near the driveway would be best, lay on your back with your arms folded across your chest and for God’s sakes close your eyes.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Advertisement

~ by azlandman42 on April 1, 2009.